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Consecrated

When of old we could only see God's fire: in the pillar of fire marking God's presence for the Israelites, or in the burning bush blazing into Moses' face - and what a breathtaking, mindblowing, blinding manifestation this was! - today we ourselves are ablaze with the fire of God.
Every believer has been consecrated with His tongues of fire (Acts 2), so that we can rightfully praise God - by His Spirit, He draws the 'Hosanna' from our mouths. We could not even declare His name without His assistance... but more than that: "he makes ... his ministers a flaming fire." (Psalm 104:4) Thus, He in us will blaze into the face of the world to draw his people back to His warmth and light, like Simon Ponsonby says, "By His power, I want to become this shining light that is ever pointing to the beauty of the Father. The Holy Spirit, the fire of God, did not come for our entertainment, but for our empowerment for evangelism."
O Lord, fill me to the fullness with this powerful Spirit of Yours, for Your glory!

50+

(Random) Thank you for...

1. my breath
2. a voice to praise You
3. the mind of Christ
4. Your Spirit in me
5. Your Word
6. hands
7. health
8. healing
9. St Aldates Church
10. last year
11. trees
12. water
13. clouds
14. the sun
15. visions and pictures
16. friends
17. ears
18. the ability to think
19. eyes to see beautiful things
20. tastebuds
21. my camera
22. how You treated women
23. wisdom
24. Your life on earth
25. forgiveness
26. our hope and inheritance: heaven
27. provision
28. the Trinity
29. peace in our country
30. mentors
31. the opportunity to do an MSc
32. Commonwealth House
33. opportunities to share Your gospel
34. summer holidays
35. making me
36. taking me back when I run away
37. my family
38. bay windows
39. seasons
40. warmth
41. history
42. Moses, David, Daniel, Abraham, Paul
43. starting life as child
44. the internet
45. beauty
46. books
47. Your wings of protection
48. praying for me
49. waiting to come back
50. making me dependent
...

"Understand what the will of the Lord is: (...) giving thanks always for all things to God the Father."
- Eph 5:20

Stamp: 'Forgiven'

He wakes me with the stamp, "Forgiven", and the wider I open my eyes the more I perceive the constant ripple of blessings raining down on me from the heavenly places. I am safe and secure in the prayer hug He throws me in from morning to evening to morning. All that remains for me is to ask Him to widen my heart and hands and mind so I can avail myself of the fulness of His love and power. And to not stop gazing on His beauty and taking up the invitation to eat at His table, which is laid out for me day after day. What a joy to belong to His Kingdom!

Amen und Antwort

Durch unser zum Himmel kreisendes 'Amen'
lässt Du die Leiter herab
von Engeln erhellt.

Auf unsern zaghaften Schrei geschieht eine
ewigkeitsumspannende
sphärendurchbrechende
feindschlagende
Antwort.

Joy

needles

Your absence has gone through me
like thread through a needle.
Everything I do
is stitched with its colour.

(poems on the underground)

Needless to say, this is not where the story ends. Jesus has a far better plan. He has replaced the black with a golden thread, crying alongside as the pain of the wound ripped open became almost unbearable. But it's all for a good purpose, and His healing oil keeps pouring over the the tiny stitches... The scar now speaks of glory, of power, of beauty. Never would I have thought this possible, never dreamt of such tender care.

"It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.”

Mark 10:25

These words speak of more than what we commonly perceive. Only as we leave it all to Him, become poor for His riches, will the thread fit and fulfill His purpose. There is gold stitched all over me now. It is only as He empowers us to yield to His touch that we exchange the autumnal death for His promise to transform us into an evergreen fir, which never looses its needles...

guerrilla gardening. what rebels.

How to Celebrate a Monarch

It can't really get more British than this... and all this for the Queen! Gotta love British patriotism - when it's not connected to football - or colonialism for that matter...

tears

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:3

He can't wipe away every tear in heaven because there won't be any tears in heaven. but He will wipe them off anyway, as if they were still there. One wipe for every single one. This means He will never stop gently holding my face...

walking

Abraham knew Jesus

According to Johannes Calvin, all through the Old Testament Jesus was known. How mind-boggling but - when you think about it - utterly obvious is this! The impacts of this revelation on my view of the living God are huge. But let me explain...

The evidence for the gospel to have been there from creation (and, according to Calvin, creation being "the theatre of the gospel") lies in the fact that God doesn't have a plan B. Often, the story of salvation is presented thus: in the Old Testament, the people of Israel had the law and were saved by works; in the New Testament, people are saved by faith. But doesn't Galatians 3:11 say,

"it is evident that no one is justified before God by the law, for 'The righteous shall live by faith.'"

Not even Abraham did anything to earn God's favour - Romans 4:3:

“Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness.”

There was grace in the OT, too - grace that looked forward to the incarnation of Jesus. Yet, Jesus as part of the Trinity, has always been there. He has many names in the Old Testament. He is the Word of God, the Voice of God, the Angel of God, the Presence, etc (see also John 1 for evidence). So, as early as Genesis 3:8 we can see Jesus come and meet with the fallen humans -

"And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden." (see Matthew 26:36-43 for beautiful parallel)

Another instance is Genesis 15, when it says

"And behold, the word of the Lord came to him: “This man shall not be your heir; your very own son shall be your heir.” And he brought him outside and said, “Look toward heaven, and number the stars, if you are able to number them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring be.”"

Abraham here actually trusts the SON - He is indeed the Mediator even as early as this in salvation history!

Genesis 16 speaks of the angel of the Lord coming to speak to Hagar. 'Angel' in Hebrew actually means 'messenger' - and can well be used of Christ. A good indication of the angel being Christ is when he accepts worship - whereas the angels = spiritual beings (like in Revelation) do not.

The implications of Exodus 3, and God=Jesus speaking from the burning bush, are massive.

"God said to Moses, “I am who I am.” ...‘The Lord, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you.’"

If Jesus says of Himself that He is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, it really is God incarnate who later died for us!!

In John 1:18, facts are pretty clear -

"No one has ever seen God; the only God, who is at the Father's side, he has made him known."

No one has seen God, not even Moses, of whom it is said in Exodus 33 -

"Thus the Lord used to speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend."

Face to Face. Even though a little later he can't see the face of God? (But,” he said, “you cannot see my face, for man shall not see me and live.”) It must be Jesus, showing the Father, sitting on the Arc of the Covenant. 

Now imagine - Jesus sits there and sees the priest make their offering of animals year in year out - all the while knowing that finally, He Himself will be offered as a blood sacrifice to terminate this process. 

This makes me shiver in awe. Abraham is actually my brother... these people are indeed my "cloud of witnesses" (Hebrews 12:1) because they knew Jesus! 

rest

Boldness in Regard to Heaven

I read an article recently that left me stunned. Beiden C. Lane manages to put into breathtakingly beautiful words a side of God that we all too often step away from - He loves us with a passion, and longs to be loved back in the same way: "Israel's God longs to be deeply desired by God's people—a God taking joy in aggressive lovers."

See Hosea 2:14-20, for instance:

¹⁴ “Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
and bring her into the wilderness,
and speak tenderly to her.
^{(...) 16} “And in that day, declares the Lord, you will call me ‘My Husband,’ and no longer will you call me ‘My Baal.’ ¹⁷ For I will remove the names of the Baals from her mouth, and they shall be remembered by name no more. (...) I will make you lie down in safety. ¹⁹ And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. ²⁰ I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord."

And from this place of deeply knowing the God who is our bridegroom and husband, we can call out to Him with an intimacy and fervour that is lacking otherwise. Just like Jesus himself -

"In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence." Hebrews 5:7

Lane states that "boldness in prayer (...) exhibits a robust faith." This boldness is what we need in the face of suffering, when we don't know which way to go because we are stuck and swamped over by grief and desperation. Then, like the prophets and many of God's men and women in the Bible, we can argue with God - not a distant and removed God, but with a God who takes any attack on His Holy Ones personally:

"There is a shockingly profound access to God's inner life that is revealed in the stories growing out of this tradition of prayer rooted in prophetic insight. As the following examples suggest, God is so vulnerable to the pleas of God's children as to need to be protected from divine graciousness. God so agonizes over behaving justly toward God's people as to open the divine will to their scrutiny. God so exults in God's law as to rejoice even when the people quote it against God. These metaphors offer an imaginative reconnaisance of the divine interiority. They disclose a God rich in pathos."

We can remind God of His promises in our prayers, and hold Him accountable towards them when we find ourselves oppressed!

"Hutzpa [= 'arguing with God'] in prayer can result only from a prolonged and painful look on unrelieved suffering. Yet, there is a comfortable triumphalism that too often has characterized the common prayer of enculturated Christianity. It knows very little of a costly sharing in the sufferings of Christ. It lacks that passionate longing and impatience for the reign of God that frequently marks the churches of the oppressed. Secure in its own distance from suffering, it finds unnecessary any agonized appeal for God's promised redemption. It rests content with a reign half-realized, a resurrection not yet complete. Its God, therefore, can remain one-dimensional, immovable, unembroiled in pathos."

This arguing does not have to be well-phrased, deeply thought-through, and fully understandable. When we really face suffering, and long for God's reign in it, we can call out to Him as the one closest to our hearts and minds.

"The language of prayer discussed here is a limit-language, spoken from the edge of the abyss. Incapable of the secure certainty of prose, it mumbles half-words— lapses into a grief eased only by story. The theologian is here displaced by the poet. Perhaps that must always be the case when ordinary language succumbs to the enormity of existence."

And so, we can eventually enter into a relationship with Him that John Donne describes in a - for some - outrageous poem. May we all know Him so intimately, and depend on Him so fully!

"Batter my heart, three-personed God.
Take me to You, imprison me, for I,

Except You enthrall me, never shall be free,

Nor ever chaste, except You ravish me."

(quotes from "Hutzpa K'lapei Shamaya: A Christian Response to the Jewish Tradition of Arguing with God" by Beiden C. Lane)

Now is Later

Only a while ago He told me, "Later I will teach you to swim." 

I am swimming - o what grace!

When God Dreams

"You are dreaming about me, Lord?!" - "Yes! Every day!"

------------------------------------------------------------

"I have a dream that my daughter will know where I was in every single situation of her life. I have a dream that she knows what she can do, and still walk closely by my side, because she is just so happy to be near me.
I have a dream that she will know with every single brain cell and every heartbeat and into the deepest crevices of her soul that I will not leave her. Ever. My being is more tightly bound to hers than any other could ever be. I have shown her this already when I laid down my life, so she might live.
I have a dream that she will assume the authority that is rightly hers as my daughter. I dream that she will step out in the strength and boldness and dignity, that like Moses she will stretch out her hand and call forth whatever I lead her to - water, bread, peace - in the name of Jesus, her Lord.
I have a dream that her heart will be continually open for me to fill, and that her eyes will light up whenever she hears my silent whisper and gentle prompting. I do not want to shout at her. I love the quiet voice.
I have a dream that she will follow the plan for her life that I have crafted and designed so carefully, and go to the places I have appointed for her, because I cannot wait to see her face when she meets me there!

Disturb me!

"Disturb me, Lord, when my dreams come true, only because I dreamt too small. Disturb me when I arrive safely, only because I sailed too close to the shore. Disturb me when things I've gained cause me to lose my thirst for more of you. Disturb me when I've acquired success, only to loose my desire for excellence. Disturb me when I give up too soon and settle too far short of the goals you have set for my life."
- Anonymous

One of Us

Hebrews 2:10
"For it was fitting for Him, for whom are all things and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons to glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings."
V 17-18
"Therefore, in all things He had to be made like His brethren, that He might be a merciful and faithful High Priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For in that He Himself has suffered, being tempted, He is able to aid those who are tempted."

How amazing - God doesn't just know us and our struggles because He is omniscient and omnipotent in His being God and the Maker of all things; He also knows our struggles because He has limited Himself so much that He became a human being. What power - to be able to freely decrease in it for the sake of saving us undeserving sinners...

modern nomad

I hate to say goodbye. Once I've grown to like a place, or the people in it, I just don't want to face the reality of having to cut the ties, never to return again. So whenever I leave somewhere for some other place, part of me thinks, "Surely I will come back here. This is not goodbye." Which leaves bits of myself all over the place, like a net of home ('Home is where your heart is,' remember?), otherwise - and less sympathetically - called "geographic promiscuity" (http://themodernnomad.tumblr.com/).

I realise these days that I'm not the only one who is not tied to one single place, but with many places called home. Especially in a place like Oxford, which draws people from all over the world and then sends people everywhere for research and conference-hopping and working, all seems to be interconnected, and the strings that tie people to places cross and stretch and knot.

It is certainly true that many people migrate (and never in history have so many people been on the move) for pressing and valid reasons: war, famine, persecution, economic hopelessness. Always searching for places peaceful and prosperous to work and live with hope of a future and the protection of human rights." (http://www.blackbird.vcu.edu/v6n1/gallery/zakharia_c/nomad.htm)

Fair enough. But what about those who have all these things, and still wander? Part of it is work-related, sure. But what about this extreme group of people, those who choose to give up their wealth to go and live in exotic places (almost a reverse migration), and call themselves 'modern nomads'? What is it within humans that always draws us to explore and claim 'new' territory? Especially entitled by an 'old' name? This is almost a neocolonial movement - the desire for the foreign exotic that leads those from welathy nations to 'nomadically' move around, learning and appropriating and influencing, and tieing places together that have never been connected before.

And yet they will never be fulfilled. This desire of people to conquer has led people to the moon and the universe, and still we have not found that place called home. Tolkien famously said, "Not all who wander are lost." But as long as we are searching this world for our ultimate home, we will be - no matter how tight the net is knit. Only when we set our hearts to a Kingdom that is not from this world, will we ever be free from our many ties to places; our ultimate home is Jesus in us, and eventually life eternal in Him.

Peace All Over

"He calls us to such conscious realisation of His presence that trust becomes as natural an instinct to us as breathing. As Chambers put it, "When you really see Jesus, I defy you to doubt Him. When He says, 'Let not your hearts be troubled,' if you see Him I defy you to trouble your mind, it's a moral impossibility to doubt when he's there. Every time you get into personal contact with Jesus, his words are real. 'My peace I give you,' it's a peace all over from the crown of the head to the sole of the feet, an irrepressable confidence. 'Your life is hid with Christ in God,' and the imperturbable peace of Jesus is imparted to you." Such trust results in an inner peace that defies personal circumstances and trials. Whatever life throws at us, we know Jesus is bigger. Even in death, he gives us total assurance and confidence to trust Him and stand firm till the end."
- Simon Guillebaud in: 'More than Conquerors. A Call to Radical Discipleship.'